More than I would like to admit, this year has really taken its toll on my health. In theory I am well again. In reality I am still struggling day to day.
I know I am being ridiculously hard on myself and am expecting too much too soon. I am not the most patient at the best of times and not being able to physically pick up where I left off has left me feeling both frustrated and disheartened.
Thankfully, living where I do means I can walk out of my front door and into beautiful open countryside. For this I am always grateful, especially now. It makes such a difference to my wellbeing.
The weather has been unusually dry for this time of year so Lily and I have been out for a walk most days. At the weekend we went on our Easter Sunday walk once again. This time the bench got sat on and chocolate got eaten. Yay!
Midweek, and feeling a little braver (although incredibly self conscious) I put on my old trainers and took myself out on a gentle run. I stayed close to home and didn't go too far, but oh! the difference it made. My spirit felt lifted and I was thrilled to be actually doing something after what has seemed like months of relative inactivity.
I thought I had done O.K. and I definitely enjoyed myself. The next day, however, my legs were paying the price. Another gentle walk eased the aching somewhat but I'm not used to feeling like that.
Has it put me off? Of course.
Will it stop me going out again? Definitely not.
I am determined to get fitter and regain my sense of self, so if that means putting on my trainers again this evening, then put them on I will. I may even go for a run in them. I just might not go quite as far this time....for now anyway.